Married Spirituality

Married Spirituality.

Today marriage faces many challenges throughout the world. Yet at the same time it is seen as  foundational and vital  for the survival, progress and benefit of family, humanity and society. Pope Benedict in his letter for World Day of Peace in 2008 expressed well the importance of married love:

The natural family, as an intimate communion of life and love, based on marriage between a man and a woman constitutes the primary place of humanisation for the person and society and a cradle of life and love.

For those and  many other reasons it is fruitful that we develop greater understanding of what Married Spirituality is;  and how lived to the full it brings great joy and freedom and wholeness of life.

Married Spirituality is an environment of love where the couple support each other to grow in wholeness both as individual and as couple. There each can experience a deepening joy, excitement and the surprise of being loved.

A couple learn together the values and the fundamentals of their commitment of love while involving the totality of each other as holistic human persons.

A community of love grows as the couple develop in mutual respect, in reciprocity and in deep intimacy which leads to a spirit of openness and hospitality. This way they explore together the true beauty of human Love.

The complementarity of a man and woman committed to each other for life brings a wholeness of relationship based on solidarity, equality and with a common shared vision for life. This is where the couple affirm each other and see the unfolding wonder of the other, as they grow together as lovers into the fullness of humanity.

Wedding rings on red background

Where such a spiritual union is allowed to grow, each person grows as a person, outwardly to each other and together to God. The Sacrament of Marriage provides the Grace the guides and the role model to a Christian man and woman to experience this unique form of married love so beneficial to humanity and to society.

To live the sacrament to the full and to experience the path to holiness that their married spirituality affords, the words of Thomas Kneips Port le Roi of INTAMS are worth reflecting on:

“The sacramentality of marriage is therefore not about lofty theological imagery and unattainable moral ideals, but rather about allowing God’s life-changing and sanctifying grace to work within relationships in which lifelong commitment and faithfulness form the ultimate horizon of orientation and hope”.

For such fulfillment a couple require clarity of purpose and a common vision for their marriage, a vision that is regularly reviewed and renewed. Each couple will develop their own model for Married Spirituality as they are called to a place where:

  • A common vision in their life’s journey together becomes a life project.
  • Their shared purpose for life integration is for each other as individuals, together as a couple, for their family and for the community at large.
  • Their path to holiness is a process of self emptying for the other.
  • The ultimate values of the entire project are human love, the flourishing of humanity and the Transcendent.

Developing such a model the couple grow in friendship, fun and freedom as they gradually become what it is they wish to be in their own space, time and place. A place where each can be vulnerable, feel like they belong and in a communion of hearts surrender to the other in the intimacy of love.

Exploring such opportunities together with humility and tenderness creates an environment of openness, of sharing and of harmony leading to a true community of Love.

John and Elaine Cogavin

March 2015


  • marriedspirituality

    This is particularly valuable in today’s debate on marriage